Expectation = Double-Edged Sword

So today I met a friend, let’s name her Catherine. What Catherine said to me got me thinking about expectation. Expectation hurts. I know, you know, and everyone in this universe is totally aware of that. But how many of us realize that expectation does not only hurt, it motivates… It gives hopes.

Here is what she actually said to me, “You know I really did love him, don’t you? He was everything I cared about, I thought about. He still is, as a matter of fact. He was like the center of my universe. And if I were a star, my orbit is nothing but a circle around him, with super tiny radius. Like, super close. But why did he do all those things? He was supposed to love me back, he was supposed to treat me right, and he was supposed to be the best thing I’d ever had. But look at what the relationship led us to.” I couldn’t think of anything other than it was good for her that she came to the decision to break up. His ex couldn’t meet her expectation, meaning, their relationship was nothing to expect to.

This kind of expectation is the kind that come from a Catherine, a girl so full of herself she sky rocketed her expectations. And these expectations had nowhere else to go except to go down.

I couldn’t help but wonder. If expectation hurts and every ones were aware of that, why would they still expect?

Or maybe every once in a while we’ve found ourselves in the lowest state of our minds, we’ve hit rock bottom and expectation is the only thing keeping us in one piece. We never realize because we gave it another name. We named it Hope.

Good thing about expectation is it does not just hurt. At some certain points and circumstances, it can only be our only drive to keep going, to keep fighting. The thing is, in every war, as a soldier, we got to know when to keep fighting and when to surrender. Not to confuse taking a leap of faith and be blinded by mere expectations, or so called hopes. Because more often, things don’t go as expected.

So is expectation good for our souls? Or is it bad? 9.9 out 10 people asked about expectation and what it could do to their lives said bad thing about it. It’s like the word “expectation” itself has brought negativity out of everyone’s mind. Maybe we should rename it? Maybe we should call it “surprise”? That way we can never know whether the surprise will be pleasant or unpleasant. Or maybe we should just accept it the way it is. That it is a double-edged sword, it can kill the enemy, but it may kill the one who’s holding it.